Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
