Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
