My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Randomize
