my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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