I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize