I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Randomize
