oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
