I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Randomize
