clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
