Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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