I feel like abortions should bother me more
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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