Is it normal to miss your booty call?
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'm getting married
To pizza
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
