watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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