Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
