girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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