I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
