I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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