shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
