Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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