I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
