I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
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my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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