yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Never underestimate the power of titties
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
