Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
