i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
