so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Mom said you looked used
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
