I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
