your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
