i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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