I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
