Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
My dad is sitting where you rode me
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
