So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Randomize
