yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
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Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
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Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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