oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
