come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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