let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
he shaved USA in his pubs
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
