I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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