How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize