You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
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