Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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