I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
