Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
