we have officially lost it.
I puked a lego.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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