New game: find the sober person in Tbell
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
