Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
