I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize