What a fucking waste of an outfit
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
