You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize