I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
