She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
