I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
