She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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