i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
