I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
