Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
