no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize
