does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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