Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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