It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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