i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
