Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
pop tarts are not kleenex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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